always be concealing ur colossal heart & diverting from ur dumbass dreams. everyone knows rhyme & rest are for children & u are not a child. good adults have data-driven hope & only wear black or white, so if u thought, donโt. ur only job is to respond like ChatGPT & make sure u keep that buh-buh-body built like a farmer's wife out the office & off the screen. it distracts us from money, men & metrics! money, men & metrics! no hard stances, title changes, or second chances. oops, did u want ur name on that check? bitch, please. we will answer all ur questions, but only if u let us rehearse our responses ahead of time (for transparency). see, what u heard we didn't say. what u sent we didn't see til just now, sry, we been heads down on this other more important thing. uphill, sissy-fuss. our values are ur values now: "authenticity, empathy, equity." we are future-proof. we are best-of-breed. we so cut-and-dry, call us xerox machine. this survey is anonymous, yeah? yeah? & unemployment is just a Zoom call away, if those zeros don't start stacking up to something. we need more yesses, fewer messes. everything unnecessary X'd out in red edits: ur face, ur name, ur abrasive point-of- viewโ which, after careful consideration, we decided was unhinged & unprofessionalโthat is, unproductive & unrelated to our mission of stakeholder genuflection, meeting our projections, revenue collection, societal correction, quelling insurrection & quiet-quitter detection. we gotta piggyback. we gotta optimize. no slow wins. no soft stops, just market saturation & steady salivation for that low-hanging fruit. keep ur mouth shut unless it's feeding too, cuz we just want that juice. our integrity is fluid. our humility is performative. god forbid we listen to our gut when it gurgles with the truth. FYI, u'll get over it eventually, as long as u don't stop chanting our mantra: like a cancer cell, we just keep growing. best, an acquisition-in-progress
The ABCs of corporate survival
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Spectacularly sharp and witty and linguistically dextrous! Congrats on the feature!
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Thank you!!
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Thank you!! ๐
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Thanks so much! Nice to know someone understands lol ๐
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Thank you so much!!
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Thank you!! ๐๐
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Thank you so much!!
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Thank you so much!!
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My pleasure.
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Thanks so much!!
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