Lizzy Burnam 🐞

Vaudeville in all of its forms is poisonous and destructive. My bell-ringing at last night's birthday celebration was unacceptable and inexcusable. 

Jokes at my expense are a part of the job, but a joke about javelinas making creme-brulee was too much for me to bust a gut over and I reacted hilariously.

I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chief. I was out of lingo and I was whack-daddied. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the nincompoop I want to be. There is no place for vaudeville in a world of slapstick and pissing around.  
 
I would also like to apologize to the dunderheads, the big enchiladas, all the sons-of-bitches and everyone watching around the circus tent. I would like to apologize to the Wise Crackers and my dumb Aunt Sally. I deeply regret that my behavior has sobered what has been an otherwise humorous jamboree for all of us.

I am a wittle-itty Punchinello.

Sincerely,
Pickles
CEO & Co-Founder
The World Clown Association