may i never be beautiful

may i never be beautiful 
may i make art that is strange and gentle and loving 
may i deepen understanding 
of myself, of the world 
may honesty set the standard for beauty 
for myself, for the world 
may nothing else matter 
but the strange, the gentle, the loving
may beauty be the second-order force 
of art and authenticity 
and poems born from the wind in my chest 
and if ever they cut me open
may this heart be ugly as a muscle 
lumpy, moist, and red

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